Its been a long time!

I have not posted on this blog since 2009- wow. So much has happened since then. In January 2010 I found out I have Chronic Lymphositic Leukemia-CLL. What a fucking drag.... Its not curable but is treatable. When I first found out I was freaked out and felt sorry for myself for about 15 minutes. It is what it is. I started thinking about how much better off I was than the people in Haiti,[this wasn't long after the earthquake]- I have water, food and a roof over my head and told myself "how dare you feel sorry for yourself when you have so much!" When I was in art school I was so broke and was living in a dump- the water in the toilet froze. Thats when this way of thinking really helped me the first time- I was still so much better off than many, many people in the world. To get back to my CLL. I started chemotherapy a month later and by the end of May I was in remission. It will come back at some point and I'll deal with it again. I feel really thankful for the medical staff that helped me through all this!
Summer 2010 I spent 3 weeks in New York with Mindy and Luna. We had such a good time! I got to take Luna to her first day of school and that was really cool.
So things are going along fine till January 2011- what is it about January? I had a blister on my big toe and it got infected. Since I'm well aware this could be dangerous for a diabetic I went straight to the doctor.She gave me antibiotics. It still hadn't gotten much better so I went again and she gave me more antibiotics. Finally I went to the ER and found out it had turned into an abscess-not good. Right away they wanted to amputate my big toe- I refused. They called in a specialist and he said my toe would be ok. He operated the first time to get the infection out, which had spread all they way into my foot. He also had to remove all the tendons in my toe. I found out the first doctor I went to twice had prescribed the wrong antibiotics and with my history should have put me in the hospital right away. I had a second surgery to remove part of the bone which had become infected. My doctor and his staff turned out to be really good- again I am very thankful!
Its still healing and I should be off the crutches in a couple of weeks. There is way more that went on with all this but thats enough for now.
I was in the room with a man who had gone in for a toe amputation and they ended up cutting off half his foot. He is a legal immigrant from Mexico and I had to wonder if he knew he could have said no or asked for a second opinion. After talking with several staff around the hospital I found out that the surgeons I saw first are known for amputating without much thought- now what do I do with this information?
I guess I'm not finished with this yet. I know how important friends are and mine have helped me so much its amazing. I can't drive because i can't use my foot on the clutch. My friends have taken me grocery shopping, picked up meds for me, taken me to doctors appointments, taken me out to eat and on and on. How can that ever be re-payed? It really can't be other than by being a good friend back, which I hope I am.
Another thing I learned is how important it is to stand up for yourself.
It seems like I've been through a lot of shit the last few years but in reality I'm one of the most fortunate people I know!